Inspired by the critical acclaim of Ready Player One and the unstoppable rise of cryptocurrencies and NFTs, I am writing my own dystopian young adult novel about rebellious teenagers who stick to The Man using the power of the blockchain. While I’m still working on it, publishers and film producers have already shown great interest. So allow me to offer you, dear reader, some samples and world-building notes of 1/1, the first drop of the Non-Fungible Future saga.
Let’s start (or branch, as they say) with the opening of the first chapter of 1/1:
The sky above the harbor was the color of YouTube, tuned to a dead channel. 5arah.eth removed its augmented reality video overlay and swore. Shit, the Web 2.0 centralizers had finally cracked down on Elizab.eth, his favorite content creator. Unless…still kicking over the edge of the long drydock, 5arah lengthened and dove into the deep web. The data streams were cold between the fingers of his data glove. Is this how the rivers feltshe wondered, Or is this pleasant feeling the original content of a haptic Jedi ninja master? That thought was interrupted when her fingers brushed against the package she was looking for. 5arah sought to buy into the dark depths of the web and pushed with all his bandwidth, bringing to the surface the unmistakable neon blue links of a blockchain. He h. Centralized media might kill Liz’s chains and bury her discoverability, but they can’t censor her mind and they’re sure $SHIB can’t break the chain.
Noting the cost of buying the DAO, 5arah opened her crypto wallet and performed the blockchain authentication gesture tied to her biometrics: pointing a gun upwards under her chin as if to splatter her engrams onto the infobahn , and pull the trigger. Complete transfer. She hadn’t just bought access to the private server, she had bought enough votes to make cosplaying Elizab.eth a totally cringe-worthy meme on the next stream. 5arah.eth spat out his gum (Hot Takes flavor, still), cleared his throat, and joined the voice channel.
“Guess who’s back, motherfuckers.”
Phew! A lot to take, isn’t it? Let’s take a step back and you can catch your breath as I introduce you a bit more to the fascinating world I’ve created.
It’s 2069 and of course we have faster computers and internet connections, but all is not good. The world is ruled by megacorps, omniscient and omnipotent authorities from web 2.0 companies like Google and Meta. 45 years ago they repelled a coup by blockchain revolutionaries claiming to embrace cryptocurrency, NFTs and blockchain, but that is a sham. The current state of NFTs is mere trinkets and trinkets attached to centralized corporate platforms, a feint to cling to power. Since then, they have only gotten worse.
Everyone now lives in dense megacities that look like Blade Runner or Cyberpunk 2077. To fuel a carbon offset industry for crypto mining, corporations have bought up countryside, towns, cities, and even small towns for aggressive reforestation, diverting rivers and draining seas to irrigate these vast carbon sinks. History presents this “rewilding” as reaching utopia. When the Web 2.0 body repartitioned the globe, they renamed their territories after Geocities Districts and Neighborhoods (how offline can you be?!). These cities look really cool and they used to be really cool because most of the landlords were early adopters of bitcoin so they outfitted apartments with slides and ball pits. But owners have become greedy and lazy, just like the body of Web 2.0, rejecting innovation, turning their backs on blockchain and exchanging…spit-species.
Will no one defend the future of the future? A new cryptorebel movement is forming, though not even its leaders know yet that they will lead it. SunsetStrip is about to EXPLODE
To enrich my daring and unique universe, I create a lexicon of slang that our young heroes will use. It’s fresh but rooted in a rich crypto culture. Here are some of the words you will hear on the streets of 2069:
alt-F4 – go away, or shut up. “Why don’t you Alt-F4?” »
monkey – any hot NFT, not just an Ape.
without monkey – not cool. No monkeys? No thanks!
drop – news/events. “What is gout? »
mushroom – a tasty, PG-rated, trademarkable alternative to the big “F” word. If non-fungible is good, fungible is bad. So “funge you”, “funge off”, “get funged” etc.
gauze – excited, ready to go. Crypto transfer fees.
hedge – jerk. Hedge funds, the bad guys who tried to take GameStop down. “Fuck you, you monkeyless hedgie.”
metaverse – any online space controlled by Web 2.0 bodies. Ridiculous.
mint – costs. Mint and hitting an NFT. What could be cooler than creating a new NFT?
NFTeen – a young crypto rebel who probably owns a monkey or two.
clever – any NFT. No mint people call the nifties NFT, it’s total hedgie talk.
$SHIB – a minty, family-friendly alternative to the big “S” word. From the Shiba Inu cryptocurrency ticker code.
to the moon – a declaration and an affirmation: hell yeah!
Now that you know more about what’s going on, let’s jump to the end of the book for a tantalizing appearance from crypto celebrity Elon Musk. While many supposedly mint 2069 NFTeens think he’s a tryhard daggy, our hero knows he’s a champ and he’ll be right.
Elon squeezed the fingertips of his data glove in his signature blockchain authentication gesture. Diamond hands, so mint! 5arah gasped as the package reached for her crypto wallet: the digital keys to her personalized Tesla Model Z.
“What’s that for?!”
“Company car. You leave on Sunday.”
“In your dreams!” 5arah fired back, surprising herself.
Elon laughed and straightened the collar of his leather cassock as he turned to walk away.
“Keep the car,” he said. “The offer is still open. Also, after the message you sent to those hedge bodies today, I have a feeling you might need some fast wheels with industry-leading mileage. .”
We will have to wait for the finished book to find out how Elon Musk found himself trapped in this little plot! And while I won’t reveal the plot’s conclusion, I want to share the final lines. I think they’re a powerful message (and a good intro to the sequel, hint):
That’s what you don’t understand. This is what you have never understood and will never understand. It’s not your future. This is my future, and I have the blockchain to prove it.
Pow. Here it is. That’s the whole story.
While I have yet to finish writing the book, I am already courting publishers as well as Hollywood producers. I am certain that my non-fungible future has a bright future. Some would-be producers even tell me they think Elon Musk would be open to playing himself in a big-screen adaptation!
Anyway, here it is. I revealed my heart and my spirit to you. I hope you are all ready for more. Let me tell you: you’re not ready, hedgies.